Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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whose a bitch? ian doyle's a bitch

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car? I don't understand why this task would even need to be performed. I have never arrived anywhere in my car and thought "Sure could use an elephant right about now..."

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Knock knock! Who's there? ... There was no reply because the person who knocked was the mailman delivering a package, and he had a tight schedule so he couldn't stay around to chat.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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Tin is a chemical element with symbol Sn (for Latin: stannum) and atomic number 50. It is a main group metal in group 14 of the periodic table. Tin shows chemical similarity to both neighboring group-14 elements, germanium and lead, and has two possible oxidation states, +2 and the slightly more stable +4. Tin is the 49th most abundant element and has, with 10 stable isotopes, the largest number of stable isotopes in the periodic table. It is a silvery, malleable other metal that is not easily oxidized in air, obtained chiefly from the mineral cassiterite where it occurs as tin dioxide, SnO2.

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what did the teacher say to his student? do your work.

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what do you do when you see the klu klucks klan ? act white

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Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

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So the priest took the 6 year old boy into the confessional...and He told him to say 3 Hail Mary's.

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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I'm tired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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