Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What's black and white and red all over? Obama covered in red paint.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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if you have a name/nickname/brand/version or number, please like this anti joke

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What's worse than 1 bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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