A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead are best friends and go shopping together.

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? TO GET TO THE SAME SIDE!!!BAZZINGA!!!

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What kind of drugs should you take when you are too stressed? Fabulous secret magic drugs, makes all your problems go away... TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! TRY IT! try it! Warning: When you take drugs, you are taking a very big DRUG.

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Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Why was the plumber sad? Because his whole family died in a plane crash.

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops