A ship sinks in the middle of the South Pacific, only one man survives. He swims over to a deserted island.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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What's the difference between a black person and a white person? They have different skin tones.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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GooglePlus.

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what is the worst thing in the galaxy? runing out of dr.pepper :(

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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How do you confuse a blonde? £74.56.5 x 4^4^4^5 (7) : [15(68yf4+s)]

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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Potato salad

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Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

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the cow goes moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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