Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After be told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, Chuck walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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your fat

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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knock, knock. use the doorbell next time.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

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Is your refrigerator running? No. Oh perfect, I'm a refrigerator repairman, I'll be right over.

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Yo mama is stupid that she has an IQ below 70 and can be classified as mentally retarded.

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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guess what?

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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Two ducks are in a pond. The one duck asks, "Can you pass the soap?" The other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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