im jewish

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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the cow goes moo

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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A fish walks into a bar

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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How do make a boy cry? You cut off his eyelashes

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops