I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What did the rapist say when he spotted the young girl? I am going to rape you!

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Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

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what was the first thing Barack Obama said to the people of america? ... hi

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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