why did bill gates sue his banks? Because he can

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the boy that got raped? He later died of depression

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the man hit the little boy? His brakes failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many dinosaurs does it take to fill a pool? I don't know and no one will know as they are extinct organisms

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the little girl fall off of the swings? She had no arms... Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs... Why didn't anyone help her up? She had no friends... Why did she die? She landed in a puddle...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what is big and white? Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops