Why did mallisa get to go to the bar instead of jeremy... jeremy has prostate cancer and he needs to be examined every 2 1/2 minuites plus he's 7 years old.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? Nothing. He won't get them for the rest of his life.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

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who is an indian that can not shoot a bow and arrow? David

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

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Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops