A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -20

September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why dose micheal jackson like 29 year olds Because there is 20 of them

thumb_up thumb_down -20

asians have slitted eyes lol

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The verification for this post was debatable: "Which of these does not belong?" George Bush Barack Obama Bill Clinton Ronald Reagan Head of Cabbage Answers on a postcard please... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

knock knock come in !

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did God create Ebola? Because he hates us all.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Billy fall off the tree? Why? Because he had no arms or legs. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Billy

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between a Pile of Dead Babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamboghini in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's green and has wheels? The Holocaust. I lied about everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A watch and a pair of socks.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock, knock! Who's there? your enemy your enemy who? your nemesis who was brutally raped and murdered last nigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops