A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Ben Corbishley

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Polly went out for a fag. Then she was raped.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Look down at your keyboard. Notice that U and I are together? <3 Also notice that J and K are together too!:P

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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Why did Dom move to Wales? Because he is poor!

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

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What do you call a black priest? Father, and then whatever his name happens to be.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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