Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Guy 1: Ask me if I have a banana in my ear. Guy 2: Do you have a banana in your ear? Guy 1: Sorry I can't hear you I have a banana in my ear

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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"MR PLATT!!!!!!" "Yeah?" "Telephone for you sir." "Oh, cheers Tony."

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Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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... a man has made himself a poop sandwich , refused to eat it and threw it away because it disgusted him ....

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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What's worse than a guy staring at you? Two guys staring at you.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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