Do not use your phone, I repeat DO NOT USE YOUR PHONE, at this point we do not know enough, as for this kid, he is about two minutes from getting his ass locked in a nice prison, I told them he does not know anything, and I will make sure he does not squeal, you should be good, even if I got to take care of him.

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Diarrhea

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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have u seen helen kellers dad? A: neither has she

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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what did the n i g g e r with alzheimers say to the c h i n k? 9/11 was the funniest fake joke since the holocaust and 9/11 and the holocaust and 9/11... and... what?

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Your mom.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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