Q: What did the Miracle Whip say when the refrigerator door was opened? A: Nothing. Miracle Whip cannot speak.

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

What's red and silly? A blood clot

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

womens rights

BIG PENIS

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

What does a baseball and a T-Rex have in common? What? Neither of them is a carrot.

I got shot, you laughed

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

knock knock whos there? doctor doctor who?

Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

Q: What do you call a gray box without a joke in it? A: I don't know but you'd better think of something.

What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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