a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

Q: what do you call an icy road? A: dangerous

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

q: whats fat hairy and always eats mcdonalds a playboy model i lied about everything

Knock Knock Come in!

So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

what do you call a black priest? holy shit!

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

funniest joke ever!!!!!.....chris.

A baby seal walks into a club

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

Aodhan Hearty

How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...