How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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make me a sandwich!

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i dont have a ferrari in my garage

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why didn't you return my call? Cause I F@%Kin Hate you!...And Just wanted to tell you in person....

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Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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Why couldn't the man walk? He didn't have any legs.

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You know, dark humor just isn't everyone's cup of liquiffied dead baby.

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the awkward when you said "moment" in your head

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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I can't see my forehead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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