What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

thumb_up thumb_down +57

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

thumb_up thumb_down +53

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Myspace

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q. Why does Hugo masturbate? A. To build muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

thumb_up thumb_down +25

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops