You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

Q: How many vaginas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Just one.

Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

Your mother is so fat that she will die relatively early because of poor health.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

Lockerbie bombing

Jess Burns

the cow goes moo

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

roses are red yoda is green my lightsaber needs 2 hands if you know what i mean

What is worse but similar to Jenga? The September 11th attacks.

ceiling mounted bonerss CC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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