What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A women answers the phone. -"Hello?" -"Yes, hi, have I reached the Smiths?" -"No, you've reached the wrong number" The two women hand up, and continue with their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had celebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why do people go on this site? They have no friends and no lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I? Everett

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +1

human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why was the cat black it was a black cat

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops