what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Man U

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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What disease did Harry Styles get? 1Infection! (if you don't know, Harry Styles is 1direction's manager)

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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If you send someone fudge, you should write them a poem with it Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge!

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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0000000010000000000000001000000000000000000000011111111000000000111111000000000000000000011111000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000100000000000000000000000000000000000000001000000000000000000000000000000000000000011100000000000000000000000000000000000000111100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001111111111111111100000000000000000000000001000000000000001000000000000000000000000001000000000000100000000000000000000000000001111111111111000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 SMILE

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What do you do at a club? You club.

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Do't you just hate when a sentence doesn't end how you think it will and it just octopus.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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