How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue if God makes us beautiful, Who made you?

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Q. bob had 93 chocolate bars and ate 74 what does he have now? A. diabetes

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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Adam eats ginger nuts the fookin chicken

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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what do you call a sexy feminist? nothing, there are none

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A boy plays in his garden. Then he fall and his knee hurts a lot, but he doesn't cry. Do you know why? Because he's dead.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops