- Anti Joke

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family!

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

My brother and I laugh at how competitive we used to be. But I laugh harder

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

How many inches of snow are there when the fireplace burns for 10 minutes? Red chickens

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

Q.Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A.Because chickens weren't invented then.

Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?