Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Today I'll wear a hat on my head Instead of a shoe.

Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

What does a Somalian want for Christmas? Nothing hes Sunni Muslim and does not celebrate Christmas

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

xCh3wyy is the biggest fail in the entire universe. If you head to www.youtube.com/xxch3wyyxx You will see how much he fails. Please dislike his horrible video and tell him to suck a prick.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the kangaroo fall over? Because it fell over the dead koala

What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have said two factual statements.

Why was the Irishman ejected from the bar? For breaching client-attorney privilege, and the correct term is disbarred.

Knock Knock Who's there? The electrician, I'm here to fix your door bell.

if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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