roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Where do you guys find all these jokes? Your mom's Vagina

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What's big, blue, and eats rocks? A big blue rock eater.

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Why did the man crossing the busy road die? because he wanted to

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Why did the duck cross road? It didn't, it got ran over.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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