How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So a horse walks into a bar, oh wait Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did the little boy get lost? He didnt he got dragged into a van and was raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

thumb_up thumb_down -25

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops