My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Mary's phone call suddenly disconnected? She was raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

thumb_up thumb_down +6

www.xnxx.com

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I'm tired of hearing Holocaust jokes, Anne Frankly I'm disappointed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you know what the worst part about inbreeding is? - It's runs in the family!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Little Timmy enjoyed school He went to Sandy Hooks

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is round and bad-tempered? A vicious circle

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops