What's long and hard on a black man? First grade.

A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

the cow goes moo

Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

What do you call a man with 3 legs and one arm jumping on a trampoline? By his name.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

Why was the salsa spicy? It has a mixture of many spicy peppers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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