MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

A three legged dog walks into a saloon. He is quickly removed, as it was an establishment for humans and not for dogs.

1+1= 69

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

Chuck Norris is a normal man.

Wanna hear a "Friday" parody? No, that would be copyright infringement.

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

8=>

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Dead.

Oh...okay, good.

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

9/11

what do an elephant, a fishook, and a spaceship have in common? absolutely nothing

In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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