Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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Two cannibals are eating a clown one turns to the other and asks "does this taste funny to you?" The other cannibal says " yeah because the clown has been dead for weeks."

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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What can you tell by a black guy who walks into a bank with a ski mask on? His face was severely disfigured in a horrific accident.

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What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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What do you call a Black person in a city with high crime rates? Whatever their name happens to be.

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Whats in your pants, might get caught in your zipper and you may hold it all day. your pocket.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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What's the difference between a duck? They are mostly the same, only one leg is shorter.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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