What happens when a plane with 2500 people on board crashes? There were only 165 seats.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Why was the boy embarrassed when he opened his parents' bedroom door? Because he had been trying the door for several minutes until he realized he was pushing instead of pulling.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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