how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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dat shoe shine tho

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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A bunch of teens were egging the house of their science teacher for giving them homework over break. They got caught by their teacher's ex-husband and he told them, "She broke up with me for telling her she was being too hard on her students. So, my friends, egg on!!!!!"

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Why did the tomato turn red? The salad pulled out a gun.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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