An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

yo momma is so ugly, she attempted to get plastic surgery and then died from the amount of blood loss she got when the surgeons realized her head was filled with tumors and they failed to extract them.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

^ That's not even funny ^

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how to turn invisable. eat yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

knock knock. who's there? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down -22

a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you find out a chinese's name? Ask him/her

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops