Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Knock Knock. Doors open

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Q: How do you confuse a blond A: You don't they are born that way

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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A man walked in the kitchen with a gun. He made a sandwich.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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