what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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why does my face bleeding theres an axe in it

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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Why aren't dragons real? Because if any animal were to breath fire (let alone have a gland that produced it), they would cease to live for their necks would scorch from the inside out.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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