Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You wanna know who else messes around a lot? My mom. Do you know who else has the best tacos in town? My mom. Do you know who else doesn't have time for this? My mom. She's a very busy woman; dealing with matters you'd expect a recently divorced mother would have to carry on her shoulders.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black. I am blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What breaks when you give it to a baby? Its pelvis

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

kkkk

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops