Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man was shot. He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Yo Mama just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

DEATH.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Indians

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock, knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do we call Osama? Osama

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what did the blind kid boy get for Christmas? he doesn't know because his parents are mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops