roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

knock knock you may come in

Women's rights

Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender brings him the beer, and the man drinks it. Then the man dies in a car crash while driving back to his family

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot.

Kim Kardashian.

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he overslept and missed a job interview and a chance to support his family.

Why did suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Whos there NOT SUZY!

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

live babies

Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...