Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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Hitler

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A black gay transvestite prostitute was walking alone through a dark alley one night. Business has been slow tonight, and she is looking for anyone she can find. Suddenly a man jumps out from the shadows, and brutally kills her. What do you call her? Marsha, as such was her name.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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What do you get with two banana peels? Compost.

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1+1= 69

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Why is one side of a geese formation heading south always longer than the other? It has more geese

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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theres a fat guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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