One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Hey, come here often? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -86

How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Tie her up and force her to watch as you brutally murder her entire family.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What makes the world go round? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Jimmy is a goldfish

thumb_up thumb_down +39

8=>

thumb_up thumb_down +39

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What is the hardest part of a vegtable? The wheel chair 0.o

thumb_up thumb_down +37

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q:What happened to the leprechaun when it jumped in the water? A:It got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happened when the tree fell It killed someone

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Potato salad

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops