How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call potato salad in Iceland? Edible. The fact that it happens to be in Iceland doesn't make a difference

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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what did the boy say to his mum when he got home from school nothing he has no tongue

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Your mom is so fat that she has to wear larger clothes than the average person.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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What did the convicted pedophile do to the ten year old boy? He molested him.

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One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

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human centipede

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Q.Why was the man so fat A. because he had to much to eat

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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