This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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You know what sucks? A vacuum.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he wanted to impress his wife.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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