Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fairy floss" "Fairy floss who?" "I'm sugar coating your Cancer diagnoses"

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the magician die when he tried to escape from the handcuffs underwater? Because he drowned and failed his magic trick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

So a horse walks into a bar.. and breaks both its front legs. The owner has to shoot it because it can't race anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Recycled jokes are about as good as a scalar roundabout... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

who else is on here?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black man in a hole? "sir". He is A colnel in the US marines fighting for his country in a pivotal battle to maintain american interests in other countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops