A man is going to sign up for life insurance, he is stabbed by a mugger on the way and spends his last breath in a puddle hating the cruel irony of his fate.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

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What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

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Lady is taking her Alzheimer grandpa to shop for his birthday. Parks, gets out and opens the door for him. He looks at her and asks? Who are you?

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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What if I told you.....potatoe

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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whats worse than unloading a truck of dead babies with pitch forks? Finding one alive

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What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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What did Emmanuel Frimpong say to George Elokobi? you sir, are DENCH

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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