What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Bro: Aww Dawg! What if they tell me I got da aids? Dawg!: Hey don worry bro, you gotta BE POSITIVE

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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Q: What did the crippled deaf kid get for Christmas? A: A motorised wheelchair and a cochlear implant. Good for him.

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What is smarter than a blind Mexican midget of average intelligence? A genius

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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A woman walks into a bar.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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