there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Steve Jobs is alive.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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I Have a Black Friend

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I don't get it

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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