A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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Q:What's black, wrinkled and smells like raisins? A: A raisin.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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H2O corndogs running around naked CC

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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How did the Mexican got into the USA? Trough the border.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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Why did the mans nuts itch he had crabs

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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