Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

What is the difference between 1 and 2? 2 is a higher number than 1.

why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

a man was shot.... he died

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? That whole slavery thing.

Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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