- Anti Joke

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

Why did Humpty Dumpty fall off the wall? The wall was unstable and not to be sat on.

This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

What's the difference between a park bench and a black man? Nothing. They're both capable of supporting a family of three.

-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac over off a cliff? A Cadillac seats 5

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Why was the man sad His got raped

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

There's a black guy in a mansion. What's he doing there? He owns it.