How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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A Chinese man... pulling another Chinese man in one of those carts behind him.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

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Q: What did the black guy say to the white guy? A: Nothing, he's a mute.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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what's longer than my shlong? .... nothing

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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