So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

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Knock Knock.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Roses are red, my name is Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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