Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a bar. Ow!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There once was a girl from Nantucket, I've heard its nice there this time of year.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the girl fall off the swing set? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: Why did the girl fall of her swing? A: She was hit by a rogue fridge. Q: Why didn't she get back up? A: She was quite badly injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I got shot, you laughed

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

thumb_up thumb_down +16

did you ever see a butter fly?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops