What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock, knock. Who's there? New Kids on the Block. Wait, who?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead baby? A:The dog has skidmarks in front of it -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If life hands you lemons Take them

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Nickelback

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a video game nerd who insists on sitting at home all day not going out or thinking of others except for beating the level or killing the creature or leveling that skill or completely ignoring his civic duties? Accepted

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a man walked into a bar and said ow

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

No joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: what do you call a guy with a stolen cat in his pocket A: The police because stealing animals is illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

William Raines.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops